My first true love happened when I was a student at Shaw University in Raleigh NC and I must say it was a wonderful experience. She was a freshman, and she was so beautiful with caramel skin and soft dark eyes. She had a sweet slim frame and curves of a finely chiseled piece of clay. Everybody knew her government name, but, eventually they knew her by the name I affectionately called her by, “Blue”.
Blue and I shared some really wonderful moments and I can’t even write this without smiling as I think about some of the times we spent together.
We would walk through downtown Raleigh holding hands talking and laughing like we were kids. I remember spending my laundry money on a hotel room so that we could have some private time together to share some romance and be intimate.
We would meet for breakfast, lunch and or dinner throughout the semester without the theatre crew or catch a meal at the local McDonalds across the street. School breaks were the hardest time since she lived in Michigan and I lived in New York, but we tried to make the best of it by writing letters or at that time using “cassette tape letters” and we would mail them back and forth.
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
― Sarah Dessen
Let me tell you, this was so hard because you’d have to wait a week or so to receive one back, and waiting for those tapes were some of the longest days of my life because I was in love. However, when they arrived hearing her voice as she talked to me was the best feeling in the world.
One break a buddy of mine, who had a car, drove us to the airport so she could catch a flight home. She cried as we hugged and she turned to walk down the ramp leading to her plane. My heart hurt so bad I wanted to let a tear fall, but I couldn’t cause my boy was with me and at that time men weren’t supposed to cry in that situation. I must tell you since then, I have shed many a tear in front of certain women I loved, not too many but, definitely a few.
Now back to the story, how did I know I was in love? You usually don’t know what you have until you lose it or that special person. A situation happened where I was in the wrong place, the wrong time with the wrong person which led to us breaking up. I will admit it was my fault for the decision to be in that situation. Unfortunately, I still feel to this day that one of my closest friends snitched on me to his girl which happened to be the best friend of Blue.
I still take the full blame though cause I was young, immature and selfish at that time in college. The relationship ended and we were both affected in serious ways and it took me four years to shake the guilt, get forgiveness and move on with my life. There were days I was so depressed that I couldn’t even understand what was going on with me…love and a broken heart will do that to you. Today Blue still holds a special place in my heart because she was really my first true love.